Just be yourself? Really?
Just be yourself they say. But I'm a girl. I can't be angry. Anger is ugly. It shows on my face, makes my face angry, makes my face ugly. Ugly girl is worth nothing. Beautiful girl is worth more. Be yourself they say. Just be yourself, speak up, be strong. But my strength is unprecedented. My anger is a threat. A threat to the notion of what a woman should be, can be, is allowed to be and still be considered attractive. Because let's not forget a woman's worth lies only in her beauty, in her appearance, in how sexy she is and how attractive she is. In how useful she is in a male fantasy because this is a man's world even though it's carried and birthed by women women who make themselves invisible everyday to fit inside a man's world, a man's fantasy. Shrink to size, shrink to fit, shrink. Do not dare take up any space, that's not what you're here for. You're here as part of a man's fantasy in a man's world so get real, smile, get real skinny, get real sexy, get real useful. Don't develop any muscles and don't speak too loud because your voice and your strengen have no place in this fantasy. Make sure you fit a size 0 at all times. Do not dare gain any weight, space, presence, wishes, dreams and desires. It's not your world: you just live in it. One day maybe if you're very, very lucky, a man will decide you are good enough for now. But do not be surprised if the next day he finds another more perfect fantasy and you find yourself worthless once again. That is the script. Learn it, memorize it and get real familiar with this script. Does that make you angry? It makes me angry. I am a girl. I am a woman. I have a daughter. I don't even care about equality anymore. What I want is freedom. To not be at the mercy of anyone else. Their opinion, their power, their privilege, their position or their Boys Club. I think it's time I and every woman girl gets to decide for herself who she is, what she does, what her worth is, who she has sex with, what she looks, like what she sounds, like where she lives, who she lives with, who she marries if she wants to marry and at what time she goes outside in the evening without fear of being attacked. Fearless, worthy like a human being. I think it's time. And I think it's mine. What do you think? Maame Joses 03/11/2017